Why Is Everyone at the Gym Already Fit? (And Other Concerns)


I'm going to be honest, I can't remember the last time I was at the gym. I cancelled my membership after I realized that I was simply lying to myself - I'm never going to have the Candice Swanepoel booty. Instead I've opted for long walks with friends, because shit talking and walking just makes moving so much more fun. 

I don't blame myself for my lack of motivation to go to the gym, and you shouldn't either. 

First of all, why is everyone at the gym already fit? Every time I walk in there it's just a bunch of buff men lifting weights and middle aged housewives with perfect high and tight asses, and I just can't compete with that. I've never seen anyone at the gym who looks like they either need to lose weight or increase their fitness level, which always leaves me feeling really confused and uncomfortable. Will these people judge me when I'm tired of running on the treadmill after 10 minutes? If yes, do I need to get fit before I go to the gym? It's really a never ending circle.

Why do people buy gym clothes? This issue really gets to me, as there is a huge industry built solely on workout apparel, which has made way for the latest fashion craze - athleisure. But if I'm not wearing lululemon will those same housewives judge me? Or are their asses high and tight because of the pants? Either way, I always thought that workout clothes were supposed to be 'shmatas', loose and baggy shit that makes you look like the best cleaning lady in your neighbourhood, and not like a perfectly stuffed sausage. 

My last concern is why are people paying to work out? Why are people paying to run on a treadmill when you can run on the sidewalk for free? Why are people riding bicycles indoors when you can ride them outside like you did when you were 12 and they were the most efficient mode of transportation? I'll never understand this. We're literally just throwing away money because we're paying for things that are free, or almost free. (Pro Tip: If you want to embrace your inner FOB, you can go to the park and use the monkey bars as a pull up bar). 

If you take away one thing from this article, let it be this: it's not your fault that you don't want to go to the gym, you're not lacking in motivation or any of those other lies that your parents tells you. It's purely the gym's fault because that place is hell on earth.